I realized recently that my mind seems to "flash" to memories at very odd times and the emotions tied to these flashes are pretty damn intense for me.
Driving, just the other day, I passed a market that I used to frequent. Into my head popped a specific visit that I had there with my Mom. She had been battling cancer and the effect of treatment when we visited a vendor whom I was pretty fond of. I recall that day in particular being the last time that my mom was at that market with me. She shared a hug with my vendor friend and a short chat. The next time I visited the market, was a short time after my mom had passed away. My vendor friend hugged me and asked how my mom was doing. At the time, I was at a loss for words with her question. We just paused, looked at each other and then we both cried. The grief was new and raw for me then and this past week when this flash popped up, I could replay that entire scene as it happened 4 years ago...and then the emotions hit. Almost as raw as they hit me that initial day.
I frequently experience things like this regarding the loss of my Mom. Passing a store, hearing a song, reading a book....randomness happening in my life and I am pelted with a memory flash and a wall of emotions.
Is this normal for feeling a big loss? Perhaps these small flashes allow me to deal with the release of emotions in bite sized pieces so they don't hurt quite as much.
No comments:
Post a Comment