Funkin Funk

Lately, I have found myself in a funk. I really don't know how to describe these places where I occasionally find myself. Funk seems to suit though.

I am not sad but I am less than giddy.
I am not feeling kind.
I am less than compassionate.
I am less tolerant.
I am less patient.
I feel very chaotic.

This FUNK just seems to consume my thoughts and what disturbs me the most is that sometimes, I feel downright angry. Not at any particular thing however, at just about EVERYTHING. If that makes any sense.

I simply am craving alone time. Time where I can sort all of the things that are banging around in my head. Time to rest my bod. Ohhh my body. I am back to aching and feeling physically wiped out more than I am feeling rested and energetic. When I have insisted on a more quiet day or two, I am left feeling like a total lazy ass because I don't want to move.

Where is my balance?

I caught myself staring at my schedule this past weekend, trying to sort out when I could arrange a break or when things would settle in so that I could do some of the things that need to be done. There isn't going to be a break. Not a full on break anyway. I just have to resign myself to the fact that THIS, this chaos and crazy is my normal and find a way to make it ok.

Once I shifted my thinking, it seemed to help a bit. The desperation has receded from my head a bit.

It's curious though: How do I keep winding up back here? Is this some sort of cycle? Is it just what my life is? Should I embrace it or fight against it?

Perhaps, this yogi needs to devote a bit of time to diving a bit deeper into her own practice and seek that place of just "being present" with the chaos. Now there is a thought.